THE CLODHOPPER AND THE BALD-HEADED MAN
Part 2 of 6
Source: The Crittenden Record. (Marion, Ky.) 1904-1907, January 12, 1906, Image 5 - Chronicling America - The Library of Congress.
[A story of love and business told in verse, and written expressly for
THE RECORD by Robert C. Haynes, author of "Dark Days and Bright."]
Joe at last reach'd the house--he had been there before,
So pass'd on thro' the gate and walk'd up to the door;
It was open'd, of course, by his dear Imogene,
And a vision more lovely Turk never had seen.
"How are you this ev'ning, my fair Imogene?
You look well, dear, apart from that writing machine."
Joe observ'd, with a smile, and a satisfied air,
As he sat with legs cross'd, in a big parlor chair.
"Oh, I feel just delightful," replied Imogene,
"Due in part, there's no doubt, to the writing machine;
And you, Joe, look well, too--and yet it seems odd
To see you away from your partner, the hod."
"Oh! that suits me just splendidly--I scarce like to stop!
For to carry up brick to the man at the top
Is really pleasant--much more so, I ween,
Than to be always punching that writing machine."
"Ah, there's no nicer music," replied Imogene,
"Than the click-a-ty-click of the writing machine;
And besides, my dear Joseph, just find, if you can,
A 'dictator' more 'cute' than the bald-headed man!"
"So you see, therefore, Joe," still went on Imogene,
"Just betwixt you and me--and the writing machine--
I have found my life-work--when my hair has grown gray
I'll just still be a-punching and pounding away!"
"Say not so," answered Turk, "Say not so, Imogene!
Lay aside that abomni'ble writing machine.
Just put it aside, dear, and alter you plan--
Turn your back on that rascally bald-headed man!"
"Now, dear, won't you heed my advice?" went on Turk,
"Just give up the machine--let the men do the work!
Let that bald-headed man get that key-puncher, Green,
Or else let him punch his own writing machine!"
"Well, to tell you the truth, Joe," returned Imogene,
"I am not much in love with the writing machine--
Or the bald-headed man--and yet, Joseph Turk,
I'm not wealthy, you know, and therefore, I must work."
"Oh, you don't have to punch that old writing machine,
At least," answered Joe, "Be my wife, Imogene,
Then we both can be happy always--sure we can--
And 'make mouths' at that scoundrelly bald-headed man!"
"Oh, you wish me to wed you? I never tho't so!"
Imogene made reply. "But of course I will, Joe.
Oh, 'twill be just delightful--just think: Pounder Green,
The bald-headed man and the writing machine!"
"It will suit a blank, block-headed fellow like Green
To punch day after day a blam'd writing machine.
He may do," Joe went on, "the best work that he can--
That's just betwixt him and the bald-headed man."
"Oh, he does fairly well," Imogene made reply,
"And in time may be quite as efficient as I;
Anyway, I don't care, for I'm your Imogene,
And I'll just say bye-bye to the writing machine."
"Not another time, Joe, will I e'er sit between
That bad, bald-headed man and his writing machine.
And, Joe, dear, when I'm no longer dictated to,
May not I as your partner, just dictate to you?"
"Why, of course," answered Joseph, "you certainly may!
Whene'r you feel like it just dictate away!
Ah, I never before knew just what real bliss is!"
Added Joe as he covered her sweet face with kisses.
The next day Imogene, e'er the hour of eight--
For she never was known to be ten minutes late--
Left her home and walked down Middle street and across
To the store of her big, busy, bald-headed boss.
"Ah, good morning to you! You look well, Imogene;
You're as bright as the keys of the writing machine.
Take a seat just a moment, and then 'tis my plan
To begin work at once," said the bald-headed man.
"Just a word to you first, sir," began Imogene,
As she fumbled the keys of the writing machine.
"My health is not good--rather on a decline--
And I've tho't it would likely be best to resign."
"You resign? I trust not--how could we, Imogene,
Detach you just now from the writing machine?
It would break up our house, interfere with our plan,
And bankrupt me, too," said the bald-headed man.
"Oh, 'twill not be so bad, I will do what I can,
You have been such a kind and good bald-headed man.
I will speak to that amiable key-puncher, Green;
He gives a fine punch to a writing machine."
"That woe-begone, long-hungry, lubberly Green
Would not answer my purpose at all, Imogene,
I don't care for money, 'tis business I seek,
So I'll add to your pay two good dollars a week."
(To be Continued.)